Number 1: The intimacy and connection are too intense, too fast, and seem too good to be true.
So if your gut is telling you something is off, listen! How this red flag might look in reality is that you will seem to have so much in common. Almost every sentence will start with “me too”, and you will feel like you’ve just met your soul mate. She is creating the illusion that she is the perfect woman of your dreams. And remember, she is data mining and mapping you out emotionally to find information that she can manipulate you with.
She will want to find out as much as possible about you. Her focus on what you want, like, need, on your past… this might throw you off because a narcissist is supposed to be self-centered and self-serving, right? Yes, but remember that a narcissist will seemingly do things for you when in reality they will be used to exploit you later on. So, if you’ve shared with her more in one week than you’ve shared with your lifelong best friend, take it as a red flag.
Number 2: She will play up her vulnerability and play the victim, and make you the hero of her story.
She will tell you that you are the first person to ever truly understand her and make you believe that you are the only one who can help her, who can save her from the big bad world. She is using your need to be needed to create a “we-them” scenario. So if she’s really needy of your time, energy, attention, and your protection, that’s a red flag.
Number 3: Her past relationships always end badly, and of course, it’s because they’re all abusers.
And she may even have evidence of this as many of them may have been charged depending on what extreme she is on the narcissism spectrum. Now I’m not saying that if someone has been victimized many times it means that they are a narcissist, but pay attention especially if this red flag accompanies this next one.
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