Number 6: When the mask starts to come off.
Here you start getting glimpses of Mrs. Hyde so to speak. You will start seeing sides of her that you’ll be tempted to ignore, but these overreactions and bad behavior will soon start to play out more and more. She will get more destructive and more abusive, but she’ll always come back sweeter and more angelic than before. And more and more, you’ll see this hot and cold, Jekyll-and-Hyde behavior that is typical of someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
She will demean you often subtly, pushing you away and then pulling you back in to feed her need for attention, admiration, and whatever else. So, if you feel like you’re giving her the moon but it’s still not enough, nothing you can do is satisfying her, then you might be dealing with a female covert narcissist, especially if she’s going back and forth between making you feel like you’re everything to her and then like you’re nothing.
Number 7: She is very different in public than she is behind closed doors.
Often, the only people who really know what the female covert narcissist is like are her partner, her kids, and her past victims. She cannot only turn her behavior on and off but she can turn her emotions on and off like a faucet. You might be in the middle of a week-long silent treatment, but if you have a social engagement, she will be all over you acting like everything is perfect and then the minute you’re back in the car; the silent switch is slicked back on.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Now, the last two red flags have more to do with changes that you start seeing within yourself, and these flags happen once you’re deeper into the relationship.
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