Number 4: They act with passive-aggressive behavior.
The thing about coverts is that they are not directly aggressive like other forms of narcissism. They are usually quieter and do not get physically or verbally aggressive. They will engage in passive-aggressive behavior. Many covert narcissists do not take the time to get to know you. They see this as a way of telling you they do not care about you. They won’t come out and directly say they are uninterested and hurt your feelings, but it gives them pleasure in knowing that you care more than they do.
Another way they engage in passive-aggressive behavior is they won’t stand up for people negatively talking about friends or family. They will sit back and allow the situation to happen. When questioned why they didn’t stick up for them, they will usually reply with phrases like: “I’m not getting involved,” or, “I didn’t know you wanted me to say something.” Things like that are some of the covert narcissists’ favorite catchphrases. They will also start a fight, maybe not directly, but through manipulation tactics, on somebody else’s birthday when attention isn’t centered on them.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
This can be a normal occurrence and when the other person confronts them, the covert narcissist will become depressed and turn their attention away from the confrontation. Another thing covert narcissists always do to be passive-aggressive is forget important events and dates on purpose. They see these dates and events that are so important to someone else as something bigger and better than them and they do not like that.
So rather than just pretending like they did not hear the person, they will acknowledge it, then when time gets closer to the event, they will make it a big deal that they forgot. They want the other person to feel less important and hurt.
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