Number 5: Impolite body language.
Most people think of narcissists as verbally and sometimes physically aggressive when pushed enough, but that is not always the case. Covert narcissists can engage in impolite body behavior. This can tie into passive-aggressive behavior. They make gestures such as yawning when someone is telling a story about themselves when they are clearly not tired. They yawn to show that their story is irrelevant to them. The other person is not important enough to stay alert for.
Most people want someone to listen and look at them while they tell a story and yawning always indicates uninterested behavior. Covert narcissists roll their eyes too when they hear something that annoys them. If they do not agree with what someone says, instead of discussing what they don’t like or just moving on, they roll their eyes to indicate their true feelings.
Another way coverts tell others they do not care about them is by turning away and focusing on another task when someone is talking. It is usually polite to stop what you are doing and give them your full attention to show them you care and listen.
Coverts will want the person to know that they could be doing something else more important than sitting and listening to someone else talk. It creates a sense of power in the conversation. It can get the other person to stop talking so it can allow the covert narcissist to start talking about themselves.
Number 6: They say these common catchphrases.
Many covert narcissists say a lot of the same catchphrases. The phrases are usually small and simple, but with many meanings. Some covert narcissists’ favorite catchphrases include:
- “Don’t get upset over nothing.”
- “Don’t be so sensitive.”
- “I was just joking, calm down.”
- “You misunderstood me.”
- “I didn’t hurt you, you hurt yourself.”
These phrases along with others are just some of the common ones used by covert narcissists to initiate gaslighting. These narcissists want the other person to believe they caused these emotions, not the narcissist. The victim will many times hear these catchphrases and start to believe that they may have done it to themselves. The covert narcissist will say all of this in a calm, non-angry tone which will make the person believe they are overreacting if they are angry and loud.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
The coverts use these phrases commonly to upset people more than anything. They want to upset them; their goal is to make the other person feel bad about themselves. The phrases are intended to send mixed messages and make the person think the worst of what the words mean. The covert narcissist wants you to think the worst of yourself and question everything you do.
If you notice, some of the phrases focus on the person harming themselves. The covert narcissist will want to deflect the problem from them and make people believe the victim is doing it all to themselves and the narcissist is trying to help them. In reality, the narcissist is breaking them down more and more every day.
Read More: 7 Ways to Build Immunity to Narcissistic Abuse.
Sharing is caring!
