1. They will see your strength as a challenge for them.
Similarly, a more overt grandiose narcissist will initially find your strength and personal power very attractive. In fact, they’ll actually find the challenge your strong character offers to be compelling and irresistible. Again, initially, until they aren’t getting their way that is. Until it becomes clear that you aren’t so easily swayed, manipulated, dominated, duped, deceived, or controlled. Then your strength and personal power will become a problem, a big problem for them, which of course will frustrate them to no end and therefore justify in their minds any retaliatory behavior on their part.
What many people don’t realize is narcissists don’t tend to go after riff-raff. If you’re being targeted by a destructive narcissist in any way, it’s likely because you bring a lot of good stuff to the table; you carry a lot of light. You’re not only highly empathic, but also deeply loving, kind, decent, and good, not perfect, but good. And you have a lot of good stuff going for you. In essence, you’re the exact opposite of what the narcissist is. Furthermore, you’re probably really smart and at least relatively accomplished. You make them look good because you look good. You enhance their image by osmosis and they like that, at first.
Related: 9 Types of People Narcissists Run Away From.
So, your strength and personal power, and all the things that make you dynamite are very attractive to the narcissist in the beginning. For no other reason than they’re always operating from a what’s in it from my perspective. The problem, however, is that narcissists have to exert authority over others. They also have to create and maintain a perception of superiority, no matter how false that perception may actually be in reality.
So, needless to say, sooner or later, your strength and personal power are going to become very problematic for a destructive narcissist. Depending on the circumstances, sometimes that’ll become really obvious really quickly. In some cases, immediately even. Other times, it’ll take longer for it to manifest as an actual issue that’s problematic to the relationship dynamic. And when it does, you’ll know it because the shift will be real.
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