2. They always need to be in a position of control and dominance.
Now, that said, it’s important to remember that narcissistic people need to be in a position of dominance and control over others. The thing is, all is well as long as they’re getting their way and getting their needs met. But the moment that’s not the case, look out.
Once they’re not getting their way, once it becomes clear that they’re not in control, once you’re not complying, or God forbid, you accidentally show them up somehow, like, for example, by shining a little too bright or simply by being who you are naturally, well, what happens is, whether you realize it or not, their ego takes a hit and sometimes a big hit, something that actually has absolutely nothing to do with you and you have no control over.
Related: 7 Most Haunting Things a Narcissist Could Do to You.
Remember, it’s their stuff, not yours. If they can’t gaslight you into some form of submission, compliance, or feelings of inferiority, if they can’t manipulate, dominate, or control you, then given the limited tools they have to work within their emotional and psychological toolbox, they’ll be left with no other choice than to target you differently, more passively, but just as destructively if not even more so than their direct tactics. And it’s usually done by working to manipulate and control how other people see you. When a narcissist can’t control you, they feel threatened by you.
And when they feel threatened by you, they’ll have to deal with the threat to their false persona in the only way they know how. Usually, that will mean working to control how others see and perceive you, and how others feel about you. They’ll literally go out of their way to discredit, diminish, and demean you as a preemptive measure. And the reality is, this can be going on long before you even realize there’s a problem. They’re fake, they’re phony, they are liars. They tell lies by omission as well as lie outright. And they do so with tremendous ease and zero guilt, shame, or remorse.
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