Number 3: Repel their manipulative charms.
It is common for all narcissists to be manipulative. This trait does not exempt covert narcissists. Their manipulative instincts are a response to their very desire to control others. It may be hard to directly spot when a covert narcissist manipulates you because they make it unrecognizable. They may use their charms at first, then intensify their manipulation into gaslighting to get what they want.
They usually have a clearer picture of how things should work and how people should behave. However, when one thing does not go according to their plan, they will be enraged and may resort to violence. For instance, the covert narcissist plans a game to set the rules, to which the rules do not apply to him. When you do not follow the rules, this will upset them, ending the game. Their inability to control the situation and the people involved hurts their pride.
Number 4: Catch them off-guard.
Narcissists have been maintaining their picture-perfect image for a long time. This makes them enchants people and traps them in a loop with their false sense of reality. They wear masks of different kinds to cover up their true selves. Covert narcissists will use passive-aggressive manipulation methods to get what they want and cover up their tracks of who they truly are.
One way to hurt them is to expose who they truly are. You must catch them in the act or when their guard is down. Their default reaction is to deny the fact and will try to gaslight you in front of people. They may act as the victim in the situation for them to maintain their cover for who they truly are. Exposing them will not be as easy as counting one, two, three, but when you do, it will drive them insane.
Number 5: Let them see you happy.
Happiness is being pleased and contented with what you are and what you have. Suppose you have ever been in a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. In that case, I’m pretty sure it was a devastating moment in your life with all the manipulation and lies in the loop. You may have a one-half out of ten happiness rate. A relationship with a covert narcissist may be happy at first, as some relationships involve narcissists of any type. They will shower you with gifts and hook you up with fascinating lies as if you are in a fairy tale. But then something happens.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Your disagreement with what they want you to do will subtly make your knight and charming armor into a vicious dragon. Realizing they still need you, they will feel remorse and love bomb you again. Their fairy tale cycle continues on the loop. Suppose you manage to free yourself from this toxic cycle and be happy with yourself around other people. In that case, this will hurt a covert narcissist. It will disappoint them because they want you to feel unhappy, broken, and miserable without them. Your ability to find happiness without them is the ultimate revenge for the covert narcissist, but eventually, they’ll move on.
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