Face 2: Entitlement.
The second face you’ll see is entitlement. For a female covert narcissist, entitlement isn’t just about wanting more; it’s about believing that she inherently deserves it. It’s this belief that she’s owed extraordinary treatment because of her perceived hardships or special circumstances. Her entitlement stems from the idea that she’s especially wounded, especially oppressed, or especially in need.
She convinces herself and others that these hardships make her more deserving of more attention, more respect, or more pity than she has rightfully earned. It is not about merit or accomplishments; it’s about creating a narrative that justifies her demands. You’ll often see this entitlement as a belief that she should receive esteem or recognition without having to invest any effort on her part. Among women, this can look like believing that she deserves a better man than she has, or that she deserves more attention than she gets, or more pity than her situation warrants.
It’s a subtle but pervasive mindset that shapes her relationships. A dead giveaway for this kind of entitlement, whether it’s from a covert narcissist or not, is the underlying tone of “I’ve been through more, so I deserve more.” This doesn’t automatically mean someone is a narcissist, but for the covert narcissist, this feeling becomes chronic and manipulative. She uses it to justify special treatment, evade accountability, and subtly pressure others to fulfill her sense of entitlement.
For More: 14 Things Narcissists Say to Gaslight You.
What makes entitlement so damaging is how it impacts the people around her. When others don’t reflect back the position that she believes she deserves, she’ll lash out—whether through cold, silent punishment or outright wrath. Her dissatisfaction becomes everyone else’s fault, and she’ll use guilt, blame, or emotional manipulation to keep others in line. It’s not just exhausting; it’s destabilizing, and it leaves those closest to her feeling like no matter what they do, it’s never enough.
Unlike overt narcissistic entitlement, which can be loud and demanding, hers is quieter, cloaked in self-pity or exaggerated humility. She might say something like, “No one understands how hard I’ve had it,” to guilt others into prioritizing her needs. Over time, this creates an undercurrent of obligation and guilt, leaving people feeling like they owe her more than they can give.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
