Face 5: Contempt.
The fifth face is contempt, and it’s the most dangerous red flag in any relationship. Contempt carries both a sense of superiority—kind of like “I’m above you”—while actively diminishing the other person, like “my opinion reduces your worth.” This dual dynamic of elevating yourself while putting others down is what makes contempt so destructive.
With female covert narcissists, contempt is particularly brutal in women’s social hierarchies. It’s a weapon used to secure dominance by cutting others down socially, emotionally, or even professionally. In friendships, this can look like subtle undermining, disguising insults as jokes, or constantly minimizing another woman’s achievements to remind her of her place. It’s not always overt, but the goal is clear: to assert power and to keep others feeling less than.
Recommended Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
When it comes to men, contempt from a female covert narcissist can be equally vicious. It’s often used to make a partner feel small, unworthy, or incapable. This might come through relentless criticism of his choices, veiled disgust at his perceived flaws, or nonverbal cues like a sneer or dismissive glances. Over time, this contempt erodes his confidence, leaving him feeling inadequate and powerless in the relationship.
What separates contempt from everyday irritation is the underlying sentiment. Contempt isn’t about frustration or disappointment; it’s about disdain. It communicates, “I’m in a position to judge or diminish you.” This is why contempt is a red flag that cannot be ignored in female relationships. It creates social tension and reinforces toxic hierarchies. In romantic partnerships, it destroys trust and intimacy, leaving the other person feeling worthless.
In parenting, it can crush a child’s sense of self-worth, teaching them that they’ll never measure up. If you notice contempt in your relationships, whether it’s disguised as sarcasm, constant criticism, or subtle put-downs, it’s a sign to step back and reassess. Contempt poisons relationships from the inside out, leaving little room for repair or respect.
Read More: 5 Shocking Addictions All Narcissists Have.
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