Number 1: They are hypocritical and use money to control you.
Narcissism and hypocrisy go hand in hand. Most narcissists believe the rules do not apply to them despite being eager to apply them to everyone else. This holds true for a wide range of regulations, including budgets. A narcissistic partner may spend lavishly on themselves, and things they want, but not a penny on you or blow your combined budget, then criticize you for spending more than required. They may scrutinize you for every penny earned and spent but won’t share a single detail about their finances. You may be living with them for years and not have an idea of how much they earn, how much they have in their savings, what their investments look like, and what they do with their money. They may want to take most of what you earn in the name of spending but never give anything back. You may not even remember the last thing they bought for you.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
On the other side, quite surprisingly, they may overly spend on you, buy you gifts, and take you to expensive places to keep you confused, controlled, and stuck in the relationship. I call it gift bombing, a form of love bombing that mostly happens at the beginning of the relationship because the possibilities are endless. Another way they utilize money for control is they may take away your financial independence and make you beg for basic things. Quite the opposite of being an overspender, they may be the biggest miser you know of. I’ll talk about that in a minute.
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