1. Someone who is authentically themselves.
So the first person a narcissist hates is someone who is authentically themselves. You may notice in those moments when you were the truest of you, that’s when the narcissist’s words will cut you down at your knees. And from someone who’s been there, I can tell you, it makes you feel like there’s something wrong with being you. So maybe they’ll make fun of you in these moments, or maybe they’ll have a harsh criticism of you. But you’ll notice that it’s consistent: whenever you show up as you, they show up to cut you down. And this may come through when you’re expressing yourself creatively or just being downright silly. And I have to be honest, there’s really nothing worse than hanging around someone who will act this way. People like this are what Brené Brown calls ‘candle blowers outers’ because they just can’t wait to extinguish your flame. And if you stick around long enough and give them enough power, they absolutely will succeed.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
So why do narcissists hate authenticity so much? It’s because narcissists build up a false sense of self to protect their fragile ego. Essentially, they’ve abandoned parts of themselves in an effort to feel safe and exist in this world. And when they see you feeling free to be yourself, it can be like a subtle reminder of those abandoned parts. And that may trigger some bad feelings. Of course, you have no control over the parts of themselves that they see and the parts they abandon, and you don’t deserve to be a punching bag for any of it. But they will absolutely be jealous that you get to express yourself and they cannot. So when you see the narcissist cutting you or someone else down, essentially it’s like they’re saying, ‘What gives you the right to be yourself?’
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