Secret 1: You will always feel alone with me, lonelier than when you are on your own.
You and I both know in a narcissistic relationship, there is no one to connect to, there is no one to rely on, there is no one to share your emotions with. You are literally on your own physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Yes, “they are technically there; you are in a relationship”. But the truth is, you are in a situationship. This relationship is run by only one person, and guess who is that? Of course, you. They stay with you only for one reason, and that is to keep extracting Supply from you. They are there not for you but for themselves. It’s all about them.
Whenever it comes to you, everything is invalidated, everything is suppressed. You are made to think you’re asking for too much, your demands are bigger than what they should be, and you are too needy, too clingy, too this, too that. How would you not feel alone when loneliness is what they offer you through giving you silent treatments, stonewalling you, disconnecting you from your friends and family, and isolating you when you need them the most?
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
When you are on your own, when you are with your own company, everything is at peace and stable. Nothing is happening. Yes, you don’t have the company of another person, but nobody’s harming you. But when you are with them, you are getting harmed in every single way. Every time you reach out for help, for validation, for comfort, what do you get back? Rejection, pushback, abuse. You get told you are the problem or you are opening your mouth and you’re destroying everything. How would you not feel alone when they do everything they can to make you feel like a burden?
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