Tactic 1 – Defy the all-important image.
The narcissist thinks of themselves as being compelling, superior, attractive, wonderful, and charismatic, so when you defy that vision of themselves as being all-important, the center of the universe, magnetically seductive and attractive, and you cease to offer them that feedback, you cease to keep them in that place and you defy that, maybe you stop chasing after them, maybe you don’t reply to their calls, maybe you just let them know through your meta-communication that you’re not particularly impressed by them and you don’t particularly need them in your life, you show them they’re nonessential, that is the first strategy.
Tactic 2 – Operate outside the fixed view.
When you do anything that goes outside of their fixed view of you. So, you will notice it’s very frustrating when dealing with somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because they’re very rigid, they’re very stubborn, they’re very stiff, and they’re particularly stiff in their view of the external world, and you are part of that world. They don’t see you as a separate person. In the narcissist’s world, there is one human, them, and then there are objects, there are just things, there are just instruments to be used. When they get to know you, they have a very rigid, very stubborn, and usually fairly, in my experience, simplistic view of who you are.
So they have this false self of themselves, this view of themselves as all-powerful, all-beautiful, all-knowing, very important, very special, but then they also seem to have, like, a false view of other people, particularly their intimate partners, particularly their children, particularly people that they’re working with closely, their view of you will probably be off in quite a significant way. Typically a long enough timeline in a relationship with a narcissist, I’m sure you will have seen examples of this yourself, they will reveal to you that their perception of you is quite significantly wrong. So they will say something like, ‘Oh you’re the type of person who would always X,’ or ‘I know that you love to do Y,’ and then you think to yourself, ‘I would never do X. I absolutely loath Y, where are you getting this from?’ But they say it with absolute certainty.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
So they have the false self that protects them from the world, but then they also have a false or delusional vision of you as their intimate partner, as their spouse, as their child or parent, it’s fake. So, when you show them that they’re delusional by acting outside of their rigid, simplistic fixed view of you, this can also generate narcissistic mortification. Now remember, this fixed view of you is drawn in crayon by a child. This is a childish, toddler-esque, delusional worldview. So their view of you will probably be sort of embarrassingly cringe-inducingly archetypal or stereotypical. It will be rooted in weird ethnic fallacies and gender fallacies and just a very rigid view of who you are, a very caricatured view of the other person.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
