2. Be honest in your word and deed.
The second thing that I want you to do is, to be honest in your word and deed. That means that when the narcissist says that you’ve done something wrong and that’s not true, is not to just agree with them to get out of the argument, I want you to step up to the plate for yourself. I don’t want you angry, I don’t want you to start a knock-down-drag-out fight, but I want you to stand up to the truth of that.
Because when we let somebody tell a lie, or when we let somebody blame us for something we didn’t do, that’s not honest, and that’s not truthful. I want us to be sure to stick with that because we want to make sure that we’re being honest and word indeed, and that we’re expecting the other person to be honest and word indeed too – and we’re holding them to it.
3. Ask yourself what do I stand for?
The third thing that I want you to do is to ask yourself what are your values, what are your beliefs, and what are your morals? Basically, what you stand for. I want you to really think about this. And this might take several days, it might take several weeks to really work through this, but I want you to write this down in a private journal that nobody has access to, and I want you to really think about it. What do I stand for and believe in? What do I value most? And what are the things that I value most of my life?
And Then, from there, I want you to really get to know who you are because this is going to help you to understand yourself. It’s going to give you great insight into yourself. And it’s probably something you’ve never done because you’ve been catering to other people a lot in your life. Especially, if you’re seriously surrounded by many narcissists, or you’re married to a narcissist, you can lose yourself in that other person.
The second reason why this is important is that knowing this information allows you to create and assimilate boundaries, your non-negotiables, the things that you will not deal with. So if somebody tries to step over your boundary about a personal belief, don’t allow that to happen. Remember, we have to train other people to understand what we will and will not allow, and that’s our boundaries.
And once you understand that, and you stand true by that, your relationship with this person will definitely change. But you have to be consistent, and you have to do it every time. Because if you don’t, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile.
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