2. They Didn’t Validate You
Parents usually want the best for their children. They see their child’s potential and they want them to reach it. Throughout their lives, your parents may have been proud of you, but they might have not just said it. And many children mistake this for disappointment or dissatisfaction.
When people don’t hear that they’re loved, that they’re smart, beautiful, or accomplished, then they’re more likely to think the opposite. People that hear criticism and feedback without any positive validation are also more likely to burn out and lose motivation. So if you want positive validation from your parents, you have to simply ask them for it.
A lot of parents, bosses, friends, and even significant others for that matter, do not realize that they’ve failed to share the love and positive validation that they’re thinking, they’re just not saying it. So if you ask and they refuse to validate you or tell you that they love you, you have a completely separate issue on your hands.
3. They Focused On Your Accomplishments Not On Your Character
You might have heard this when you were growing up, you need a study to be a doctor, practice hard so you can win first place, did you get straight A’s? A lot of psychologists have theorized that we don’t love people for what they do, we love them for who they are. And unfortunately, a lot of parents are more focused on the accomplishments and the rankings of their children than their actual identities. Well, at least, that’s what they seem to talk about.
Again, this is usually a habit that comes from parents who want to see their child succeed, and it comes from love, and they want their children to have a happy life for themselves. But everyone makes mistakes, and every path to success comes with roadblocks and failures. When parents focus all of their energy on their children’s shortcomings, the child might start to feel anxious about admitting these failures. And this is when love for your character and who you are as a person, comes in really handy.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!