Step 3: Reclaim your individuality.
Expand your world to reclaim your identity by recovering emotional stability, resuming lost interests, and reconnecting with loved ones. Be open about your wants. Remind yourself that it’s fine to talk to your partner about your feelings, wants, and desires. Please remember that you are deserving of good treatment and to set clear limits for undesired behavior.
Self-compassion is a good thing to practice. You probably feel terrible that you let yourself be deceived for so long, now that you can clearly see your ex for the narcissist they were and see how damaging the patterns were that you engaged in for so long. You might be perplexed as to how you could be so “naive”, “dumb”, or “gullible”. When you’re with family or friends who were tuned in long before you were, you can feel particularly guilty.
Allow yourself a break. You’re only human, and narcissists are masters at seduction. If you’re in a better position, you can look into your codependency and self-esteem issues, but, for now, simply forgive yourself. It’s important to remember that your naivety is a positive thing. It suggests you have a trusting and open heart, something a narcissist lacks.
Step 4: Recognize that your emotions may linger.
Look after yourself. One of the narcissist’s methods is to knock others down in order to elevate themselves. You’re unlikely to have received any compliments, support, or gratitude once the seduction period ended. You may have also been subjected to verbal abuse. Because narcissists want you to be insecure, feeling confident in yourself is a foreign concept to you right now.
As a result of being gaslighted for so long, you may have lost faith in your own judgment. What’s the best place to start recovering from all of this? Therapy, self-help programs, reading books about narcissism -for healing– and support groups may all help you focus on self-love, which is what you need to do to rebuild your self-esteem after a breakup.
Find a regular meetup with a group of people who are interested in the same type of personal development as you are.
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