3. Don’t engage with them on a deeper level.
Sure, there is little depth to be found in the narcissist’s universe, but there probably is in yours. If you allow yourself to be pulled into their twisted dynamics of interacting with people, you will already be on your way to being taken for granted, devalued, and disrespected.
If you want the narcissist to respect you, engage with them only when they are acting nice to you, when they are fun to be around, when you have a mutual goal to achieve, but otherwise, limit the amount of emotions and effort you put into the relationship of any kind with them. When their masks start slipping away, try to avoid contact with them, until they start being fun, kind of nice, or useful to you, and don’t let them pull you deeper into their own vortex.
This technique is often called limited engagement and will definitely make the narcissist respect you, or at least appreciate your limited availability to them.
4. The gray rock technique.
When a narcissist starts devaluing you, which is almost inevitable, they will try to engage in behaviors that feel good to them without any regard for how they feel for you. They may ignore you, constantly staring at their phones while you’re talking to them, openly try to provoke or humiliate you.
Now, when you start noticing these devaluing behaviors, please, either remove yourself from that person or situation and don’t contact them again, and don’t allow them to contact you (which is the essence of the so-called no contact rule), or simply avoid them as much as possible, respond in simple sentences and treat them like they don’t exist until they change their behavior.
This is the so-called gray rock technique. This might result in a temporary increase in their respect for you.
A book: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
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