7. The emotional rollercoaster.
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you will remember that these ‘bad’ episodes don’t happen all the time. And that’s how the emotional rollercoaster works. The manipulator first drops love bombs on you. That is, making you feel great, loved, blessed, happy, in a way that overwhelms your senses. In a way that no one ever has done for you.
But then, while you’re at that cloud, high up in the sky, they gaslight you. A very small one. One that gets unnoticed. You laugh it off. Then the love-bombing begins again but two weeks later, another gaslighting episode. “Oh, you forgot this again”. “Oh, you messed it up, but don’t worry”. “Oh, never mind, being sloppy can be cute”.
A Book: Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists.
And so, the Love Bombing started high up here and the gaslighting was almost invisible, but as time passes, the love episodes are less and less often or intense, and the gaslighting is more and more evil and obvious. The problem is that by this point, you’re hooked, addicted to those scarce moments of love. If you combine the gaslighting with that “scraps of love”, you will enter a downward spiral in which you depend emotionally on the narcissist. And that’s what they wanted from the start.
Be extremely careful because spotting narcissistic manipulators can be tricky due to the fact that their manipulation usually develops over a long period of time, so it’s hard to notice the change. It usually helps to listen to words of warning from your friends and family. They are looking at the situation from outside so they have a fresh set of eyes. There’s another tool that can help, and it’s journaling. Keeping private, personal notes of your life is the best “time machine” you have to backtrack a few weeks or months to identify how you felt back then in your relationship, and if something has changed since then.
Read More: 6 Types of People Who Attract Narcissists (WATCH OUT!)
Sharing is caring!
