Unfortunately, many people will buy into the phony narrative that the abuser is the victim and the victim is the aggressor, the abuser, or the unstable one, even the victim. Please hear me when I say this, the victim most times will believe the phony narrative that they are the problem and the responsible party for the narcissist abuse. At the core of narcissistic abuse is psychological abuse, and victims are incredibly vulnerable to the gaslighting.
The reason the victim believes the narrative the narcissist is telling them is because they have a conscience and the victim would never lie to someone and gaslight someone they love in this manner, so they tend to believe the narcissist. What they don’t understand is that their partner does not have a conscience. What they don’t know is that they are involved with a very dangerous machiavellian psychopathic abuser. And unfortunately, Gabby bought into the narrative Brian had forced onto her because she believed that Brian was the same kind of person that she was.
So lesson number seven, a victim’s understanding or interpretation is many times drastically affected, and many times the victim will not truly understand what they are being subjected to or understand that they have been severely psychologically abused.
8. Narcissists don’t take accountability for anything negative.
Next point in the police video Gabby makes a million excuses for Brian’s behaviour, and she takes full accountability for the entire situation. At the same time, Brian takes no accountability and blames Gabby for the entire situation, he claims he was just trying to keep her calm. Here again, this is incredibly common in narcissistically abusive relationships- educated police officers would have seen through this.
A Wonderful Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
So lesson number eight, when a person takes no personal accountability for a situation like this, you are more than likely looking right at the guilty party. Narcissists don’t take accountability for anything negative. Remember, narcissists always change the narrative to one that makes them into the hero, the victim, or the martyr, or some combination of all three, but never do they take accountability for being the villain or the responsible party, when in reality that is exactly what they are.
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