3. They will not ever give up control.
Nothing is more important to a narcissist than control and power over others. They want to believe that you are completely and utterly incapable of doing anything without their input Direction and demands. And if you try to prove otherwise, watch out! They will go to Great Links to make certain you fail.
This is one of the reasons that divorcing a narcissist, or God forbid, a custody battle for your children can go on for years and years, or in some cases, decades. They do not care about the harm they are doing to you and to their own children; that really isn’t a concern of theirs at all. In fact, sometimes, if you are dealing with a malignant narcissist, they will actually do things that intentionally harm you and the kids because they are desperate to show that you are the one with the problems, you are the one that is sick and deranged.
And if they cannot find some kind of evidence of this, they will twist and manipulate the narrative into a reality that does provide evidence to prove this. Sometimes, they will even manufacture evidence to prove their narrative is true to others. So when I say that control is the most important thing to The Narcissist, I mean it; nothing is more important to the malignant narcissist than maintaining complete control so their Narrative of reality wins.
4. Forgiving you.
Another thing that narcissists will never do is forgive you. If you are actually responsible for something where accountability is required, or when you do not live up to their expectations of you, regardless of how ridiculous and extreme they are, they will not forgive you. Narcissists hold on to mistakes you have made forever, and will often bring these things up just to throw in your face, degrade, or devalue you when they are feeling insecure, or possibly even just when they’re feeling bored.
Every time there’s a disagreement or even a fight, this thing you did a hundred years ago will be thrown in your face. As hard as you might try to right this wrong, it will never happen because the narcissist doesn’t want you to feel secure or at peace.
And they need to hold on to your mistakes to utilize in the future when they are caught doing something awful to you. They will use it as leverage for the rest of your life as proof of why you are the problem, you are the responsible party, and you are the one who needs to make amends.
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