When someone tries to get you to bend your boundaries around your time, attention, or energy, follow this simple process to check to see if they might be a narcissist: Smile and say, “No, I’m not available for that,” or “That doesn’t work for me.” Then count to five in your head while remaining friendly and firm, and observe their reaction. A reasonable person will respect your boundary and acknowledge your decision without pushing further. They might say something like, “Oh, okay, no problem,” and then move on without any fuss. However, a narcissist who’s checking to see if you’ll be their next target will likely escalate their attempts to manipulate or pressure you. They might become more insistent, try to guilt-trip you, or change tactics to see if you’re going to bend.
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For example, they might say, “You’re really the only person I can count on for this,” or “If you don’t help me, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” By using this 5-second test, you quickly expose their true intention. A narcissist’s reaction to your firm but friendly boundary within those 5 seconds will reveal their predatory nature, helping you identify and avoid them before they can manipulate you further.
If this person is a narcissist, their response is going to depend on two things. If you have history, they’ll try to use tactics that have worked on you in the past, and they’ll escalate that manipulation. If they don’t know you, they’ll either drop you immediately and move on to an easier target, or they’ll know you’re onto them and perceive you as a threat. Once the narcissist knows that you see through their facade, they’ll quickly escalate. If you don’t know what to look for or how to defend yourself, it could cost you your livelihood, your family, and your reputation. So, click this article to learn the three main tactics to expect when they know that you’re onto them, making sure that you’re always one step ahead.
Read More: 7 Weird Facial Expressions of a Narcissist.
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