Number 8: Things are likely to get a whole lot worse before they get better.
The important thing to know about what to expect when a narcissist knows you’re onto them is that the volume and intensity of their appalling and abusive attitudes and behavior are going to get worse for a while. This is where you’ll see the extent of their emotional immaturity and dark vengeful nature. Again, decent, kind, loving, relatively healthy people don’t behave this way, but narcissists do. So your best course of action is going to be to go no contact, if possible. If that’s not possible, then use the gray rock method until it is.
But the bottom line is, if you can, keep your composure and do not engage in drama or trauma. To the extent that you can disengage, the narcissist will ultimately realize what an exercise in futility it is trying to get a rise or reaction out of you, and as a result, will be forced to go elsewhere to get their sick needs met. You aren’t meeting them anymore, emotionally, energetically, or otherwise. The more you can show them, them and their smear campaign, and all the other tactics they use have zero power over you, the faster they’ll disappear.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Now, with all of that said, once you’ve established that the person has a destructive narcissist personality pattern based on the personality traits, attitudes, and behavior they present with in a relationship to you, if you’re able to, hold your cards close to your chest and don’t let them know you’re onto them. Of course, that won’t always be possible, but when it is, be smart, be wise, and stay humble. Put your ego aside and stay off their radar, and that means giving up the right fight or the need to have the last word by letting them know you know.
If you can do this until you can extricate yourself from the toxic, dysfunctional dynamic that you’re in, it’ll be in your best interest. You’ll be much better off. Why? Because you’ll avoid inflicting narcissistic injury, in so much as you’re able to anyway. Depending on the circumstances and the nature of your relationship, you won’t always be able to avoid injuring a narcissist. Their egos are incredibly fragile and hypersensitive to any perceived criticism or rejection. Even the slightest hint of rejection is enough to inflict narcissistic injury. If you want to know the Signs that You Have Caused A Narcissistic Injury, see this article here.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
And once you’ve done so, you’ll likely be a target, whether that be passively or aggressively. So, if keeping your mouth shut, your ego out of it, and not tipping your hand and letting them know you’re onto them is an option, choose it. Again, you’ll be much better off.
When you determine that someone you know is a narcissist, understand there’s no need, or point really in telling them. It’s not going to help or improve anything, I assure you. Narcissists do not change ( See here the reason why), and telling them they’re a narcissist is likely only going to backfire on you. If your assessment is accurate, all you’ll do is trigger narcissistic injury and possibly rage, and now you’ll have a bigger target on your back than you otherwise would have. Instead, muster up a little humility; observe quietly and wisely while you figure out how to get the hell out of there.
Read More: 10 Mistakes That Will Get You Into Trouble with a Narcissist.
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