Number 8: “What did I do to you?”
If someone asks you this, they may really be unaware of their actions. However, when someone is gaslighting you, they are aware they have done something to harm you and are feigning ignorance. By defensively presenting this issue to you, they are denying the influence they had on you and compelling you to examine it.
The person who gaslights never admits to what they have done, despite the fact that they are well aware of it. They want to make you feel bad for their own actions. You may have had nothing to do with whatever went wrong or caused you pain, yet they’ll find a way to make you feel responsible. This is a very typical example of gaslighting.
Number 7: “The problem is not with everyone, the problem is with you.”
The abuser employs these sorts of statements to derail the discussion and shift responsibility to the victim. This is sometimes referred to as “victim-blaming”, in which the individual gaslighting makes remarks that make the other person believe they are the problem, even if they have been the victim of bullying or abuse.
This will cause you to mistrust your abilities. Without defending or apologizing for their own harmful actions, a gaslighter will influence you into thinking this way. This practice of blaming one’s significant other for everything enables them to elevate their viewpoint above everything else.
Number 6: “I have no memory of saying it; I believe you made that up.”
This is a standard sentence that a gaslighter will use to purposefully get you to doubt your experience, conduct, and ideas in order to deflect attention away from them. Even if they recall everything, they will never admit it. They will instead blame your nervousness and restlessness, or they will behave as if they do not exist.
When a gaslighter is confronted about their behavior, they often claim innocence and blame you for the situation. They use this as a justification for their own bad conduct when, in reality, they should accept responsibility for their own actions rather than blaming you.
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