1. Your attention.
They want your undivided attention and they will make sure you’re aware of that. Because of their self-importance, they think it’s obvious that they should be the center of attention. Anything or anybody else is obviously less important, so why would you spend your time on such lesser beings or things? You might be sitting in your favorite chair, enjoying a cup of tea, and reading a book and the narcissist will insist that you put the book down because they want to talk to you. They won’t ask you to do it, but rather order you, because they feel that you owe them your attention.
Let’s say you’ve been planning to see a show. You’ve made a booking and have been looking forward to going. They don’t care- when they want your attention, they expect you to cancel everything else and spend time with them. They can become jealous if their partner’s attention is divided.
2. Your time.
Since they’re more important than you, their time is also more important than yours. They will make an appointment, leave you waiting, not show up, and think it’s completely fine. If you have a narcissist friend, they might tell you that they will come by on a specific day but not make an appointment for a specific time. If you happen to be busy when they arrive, they’ll get annoyed because they expect you to put your entire day aside and be ready whenever they show up.
All your hobbies and interests, or anything else that might take up your time can become a target for the narcissist because your time belongs to them and they will insist on having the final say on how you spend it. Your plans are less important than theirs and they will expect you to give them up for them. They won’t be able to understand that you have your own ideas about how you’d like to spend your time. It’s so obvious to them that they should be deciding that.
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