3. Your feelings of guilt.
They want you to feel guilty about things you never even consider doing. It’s a part of destroying your confidence and self-esteem, and this is what they want to achieve. The less you believe in your own ability to handle things, the more you might start needing them. That dependence is what they’re looking for. It will give them control over your life. Making you feel guilty because you didn’t spend enough time with them or didn’t follow any of their orders to the letter is just part of the process that they use to gain complete control over their partner.
Narcissists are master manipulators and guilt is one of the tools that they use. They cannot handle criticism themselves but are quite happy to criticize others, including those close to them. When they belittle and devalue other people, it is a way to increase their own feelings of superiority.
4. Your gratitude.
When you meet them, they can be so nice and caring that you might think they’re the loveliest person you’ve ever met, but this will not last. In no time, their true colors will show. They will treat you any way they like, and often be unkind because they are so totally focused on their own needs. Now and again, you might see their nice side again.
From their perspective, they are doing you a favor when they’re being kind. They want you to believe that nobody else will treat you better than they do, that they’re only looking out for you. Therefore, you owe them.
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