2. Our confidence.
Confidence is a state of mind- having truth or certainty about something, and that includes your own abilities and qualities. This is why after losing our identity, we lack confidence. It’s hard to be confident when you don’t know who you are, what you stand for, or what you believe.
It is also hard to be confident when you don’t feel loved or appreciated. It is hard to be confident when you are devalued and even discarded. And it is hard to be confident when you are in an abusive relationship with a narcissist and you don’t even know it, all you know is that things are not going right and nothing you try seems to work. And when things are going well, for no reason, they then go terribly wrong and it’s always somehow your fault.
The narcissist wants us to be insecure and question our every action. They want us to not be able to trust ourselves. If we are too confident, we may outshine them, and they can’t have that. The narcissist envies us and if we are confident, it makes them hate us even more, so they plot and scheme the best way they can to tear us down. They work to break our confidence so that we walk with our eyes low and our heads cast down.
But again, while we are in it, we may not realize the extent of the damage until we have the strength to walk away.
A book: Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family.
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