Number 2: “All my exes are crazy.”
Another common phrase the narcissist may use at the beginning of the relationship is: “All my exes are crazy.” Similar phrases are: “My ex neglected me.” “My ex is unstable.” “My ex is a psycho.” “My ex abandoned me when I needed them the most.” “My ex is a cheater.” “My ex is a liar.” They say this to shift the responsibility of what transpired in their previous relationship from them to their ex.
And since their ex is not there to defend themselves, this tactic usually works. They’ll tell stories leaving out any role they may have played in souring the relationship. For example, they may tell a story of how their ex had a crazy outburst, but leave out the part about it being in reaction to them finding out that the narcissist was cheating on them. They may tell you that their ex abandoned them when they needed them the most, but leave out the part about how their ex finally left them after months or even years of dealing with the narc’s bad behaviour.
These stories will make their new lover feel sorry for them. It may even have them feeling animosity towards an ex they don’t even know; an x that’s really done nothing to the narcissist or to them personally. The goal is to have you view them as the victim; the one that was wronged in a relationship. They want you to wonder how anyone could be so awful to the narcissist who’s currently portraying themselves as being a wonderful partner who clearly did nothing wrong.
This is not only designed to make the narcissist look like the victim, but also to make you aspire to be a better lover than their exes. You’ll work harder in areas they said their ex lacked to ensure that you’re giving them everything they want and more. You’ll strive to be the perfect lover because you don’t want to disappoint them.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
