Number 2: Develop a thick skin.
If a narcissist has targeted you or is trying to draw you into a relationship, they will likely do everything they can to get you. This can involve flattering and saying all the right things to reel you in, or on the flip side, putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself. So you seek their approval so that you beg them for their acceptance. You would do everything to avoid feeling abandoned. That is where you have to work the abandonment wound. You have to work on these people-pleasing patterns so that no one can come around and intentionally or unintentionally trigger them. And you get stuck in this loop of proving yourself worthy again. The best thing you can do is develop thick skin, stay true to yourself, and stand your ground.
Related: 10 Things That Hurt Covert Narcissists To Their Core.
If you let their insults bother you and their words get to you, you will only be playing into their hands. You have to understand that a narcissist’s projections are confessions. Every flaw, every bad thing they point at you is basically their own personality that they are projecting on you. They don’t want to accept all of this about themselves, but it still is within them. It would not go anywhere. Just because they are not willing to accept their truth does not mean that it will become untrue. It will still remain in their unconscious, and they would have to deal with it.
A Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse (A Guide To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery And Healing From A Narcissistic Relationship).
And as a way to cope with that, they project it onto you and make it your truth so that they can fabricate their reality and create it out of falsehood. They project everything on you that they are themselves. So you have to understand that you need to deflect every single thing, every single bad thing that comes to you, and not take it personally. The most important thing you can do is that you have to work on your self-worth. If your self-worth is high, if your self-concept is solid, if your self-esteem is strong, no one can come in and tell you who you are or point out these flaws and then make you feel insecure. So you have to work on these insecurities as well and really become solid in who you truly are and what you stand for.
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