#3: They plan and scheme.
When alone, narcissists may meticulously plan and scheme ways to manipulate others. This is to maintain control, it’s to uphold their image of superiority. They may be strategizing on ways to exploit vulnerabilities in their relationships, to get sympathy or empathy from others, and to plan revenge on other people who they perceive have harmed them in some way. Planning and scheming allow them to orchestrate situations that fulfill their need for attention, admiration, validation, power, and control, and this is often at the expense of other people’s well-being.
Here’s an example: Let’s say a narcissist is invited to a party where they want to make a big impression. They might spend a ton of time beforehand planning their entrance, planning their interactions to ensure that they stand out and receive a lot of attention and admiration. They will meticulously plan how to craft their image, so this might include things like planning their outfit, their makeup, their accessories, and changing a hundred times before going. They will strategize and plan conversations so that they can appear more intelligent, witty, and successful. They may scheme or begin planning potential ways to create drama, chaos, conflict, and excitement and ways to stay the center of attention.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
So whether this is by telling extravagant stories or engaging in other types of attention-seeking behavior, they may also anticipate potential challenges to their dominance or their spotlight and strategize subtle ways to undermine or discredit other people through dismissive remarks, and passive-aggressive behavior. Really, it’s all about getting maximum amounts of supplies, and if any part of their plan fails, they may get extremely upset as they may feel crushed by a sense of shame, and this can cause them to behave in impulsive and erratic ways and often in abusive and rageful ways.
#4: Reckless or impulsive behaviors.
When left alone with their thoughts, a narcissist often feels very shameful. So to cope with these feelings, they often engage in activities that provide instant gratification, such as substance use, excessive shopping, or reckless sexual activities. These things offer instant distractions and immediate gratification, allowing the narcissist to temporarily escape from the emotional discomfort that they are experiencing.
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