It’s that the cycle will go on forever. You are not going to be able to save them or teach them to be non-narcissists. It’s who they are. So, if you need the narcissist to change in order to be happy with them, just know that they are not going to change. The cycle will continue to repeat itself until the web of confusion becomes your prison.
And if you get discarded, take it as a gift and pity the next person who they will run through the exact same cycle of abuse, and to break down the cycle of abuse really quickly…
Step one: They make you believe they are the perfect partner for you, your soulmate, the missing piece to make your life complete, and this stage is often called idealization, love bombing, but it basically consists of constant positive reinforcement to blind you, seduce you and get you addicted to them.
Step two: The mask comes off and they start confusing you mentally and emotionally. This is the devaluation and dominance stage where cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding are used to make you dependent on them. They’ll use a schedule of intermittent reinforcement and punishment to confuse, control, and manipulate you.
Recommended: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Step three: This is where they exploit you and drain you of your money, attention, and anything else you have. They take take take until you have nothing left to give.
Step four: The discard. They’ve broken you down, gotten everything out of you… you are now useless to them, so they wash their hands of you, find someone else – usually before the discard – and repeat the same cycle on them. If you are unlucky and don’t get discarded, then expect to be abused and punished for the rest of the relationship.
So, how many times would you need to witness this cycle happening to a friend or family member before knowing it’s not good for them? Would you need to see this cycle 5, 10, or 20 times to be sure? So, ask yourself: What advice would you give your son or daughter or your best friend if they were in your exact situation?
And follow your own advice. Don’t give the narcissist another opportunity to poison you and rob you of another week, month, or years of your life, and if you do, do manage your expectations. And make sure you’re not doing it in hopes that they will change. Expect them to be the perfect poison!
Read More: 10 Phrases Narcissists Use to Completely Control You.
Sharing is caring!
