5. The relationship is highly competitive.
The next indication is the relationship is really competitive in nature. It’s become extremely competitive.
Competition in itself is not bad. Competition can be good, but to be honest with you, when you’re in a romantic relationship with somebody, somebody that you’re thinking about even marrying, I don’t think competition is right in that place. I think that we see it on commercials where we see ads for athletic equipment, or tennis shoes, or athletic wear.
You see the couple like trying to out-compete each other, running faster, stronger, and better. It’s cute for a commercial, and it’s cute if you can put that and keep that in a box of we like to compete against each other when we’re running in the mornings before work. That’s good. But when the relationship becomes competitive across the board like, who’s got the better job? Who makes more money? Who’s better looking? And you can start feeling that competition creeping in. This is no longer a healthy relationship.
There’s a reason why this competitive nature is coming into play- It’s because one person or both people feel insecure, and they’re trying to show the other person that they’re more valuable or better, and that’s where we need to really watch out. If the competition is just small where we race each other on bicycles once a month, that’s great. But really anything more than that, we really need to look at it because we might have a serious underlying problem.
6. You find yourself in constant reaction mode.
You find yourself reacting to what they say, not responding but reacting on a constant basis. So instead of responding to what they’re saying, it’s almost like you’re always in reaction mode. You might always feel like you’re on the defensive, trying to defend yourself, defend what they’re asking of you, defending your nature, defending what you did, defending your choices. And that’s why a lot of times you might find yourself constantly in an emotional reaction.
When we emotionally react, usually we don’t say the right things. When we emotionally react is because we feel that somebody is trying to either assume something about us, or say something negative about us, or question us and question our validity. So this is definitely an indication as well that you may be in a toxic relationship.
A book: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
