3. Monitoring you.
Another way narcissists utilize coercive control is by monitoring your time, your whereabouts, your online activity, your spending, telling you where you are allowed to go and where you are not allowed to go. Monitoring how many miles you put on the car, telling you who you are allowed to see and talk to and who you are not allowed to see and talk to.
They very well might put spyware on your computer or arrange for flying monkeys to help them keep cat tabs on exactly where you are and what you’re doing. They are known for putting tracking devices on cars or setting up nanny cams in the house, but they want you to know they are watching you. And if you do anything that you are not allowed, then you know without them saying a word that you will be in danger and will have hell to pay.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
4. Using financial abuse.
Next, a popular coercive control tool that narcissists use to control their victims is by monitoring or limiting access to money. Narcissists are famous for using financial abuse as a form of coercive control. In fact, I have never seen a case of narcissistic abuse where financial abuse was not included. Whether the narcissist controls all the money and limits access, or makes you ask for money and keeps tabs on what you spend, or takes advantage of your money, spending without any limitations, taking advantage of your finances or your credit.
I’ve had both aspects happen to me. My father was the controlling financial abuser and my ex was spending and entitled financial abuser of my money.
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