3. Understand and realize that you are in a trauma bonded relationship
And that your mind is going to play tricks on you. Trauma bonds are addictions for all intents and purposes, and an addicted brain will usually tell you all kinds of lies, in order to get the drug that it needs, in order to feel relief.
So your mind might tell you that he or she really does love you, or that you weren’t strong enough to leave, or that you really do love this person, or that things weren’t as bad as you originally thought. These things are not true, and you must be aware that this is going to happen.
During these times, remind yourself that this is the trauma bond talking. That the things that it’s telling you about needing the narcissist are not true.
4. Eliminate all flying monkeys
Exclude and eliminate all flying monkeys and other associates of the narcissist from your life. You need to make a clean break from this relationship if you want to heal. And the reality is usually the narcissist family is just as disturbed as he or she is, they are not your friend.
Likewise, anyone close to the narcissist is potentially dangerous, and any contact or communication leaves you vulnerable to more abuse. It’s just not ever a good idea to remain friendly with anyone associated with the narcissist.
5. Fight off waves of cognitive dissidence
There will likely be moments when you will relapse into believing that a narcissist is actually a good person, that you too can be happy together. You need to continually remind yourself that this relationship is abusive. And if you go back, this relationship we’ll destroy you.
Many times, a victim in a trauma bonded relationship will experience abuse amnesia. And will be inclined to romanticize all of the good times that you had with a narcissist. So it’s critical that you stay grounded in the reality that you know is true, which is there is no hope. If you go back, things will only progressively get worse.
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