So with all of that said, suffice to say, when you go silent on a narcissist, and not in a passive-aggressive, game-playing, attention-seeking way, the way that a narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish, manipulate, control, or hurt you. I don’t mean like that. What I mean is, when you go silent from a place of absolute certainty and clarity, or as close to it as you can manage, even if that’s simply sheer determination to finally choose better for yourself, when you go silent from a place of courage, confidence, and strength, a place that clearly communicates to the narcissist that they are absolutely insignificant, they are literally of no consequence to you, this type of attitude.
When you go silent on a narcissist from that place, completely boundaried, completely clear and certain in a way that communicates no narcissistic supply to be had here, when you go silent and mean it from a place of absolute dominion over your emotional state, over your energetic force field, sovereign in who you are, calm, cool, clear, collected, poised, detached, nothing to be had here, and you hold that stance consistently, reliably and predictably, what you are doing quite literally, is starving the narcissist of the one thing they need to feel alive, significant, important, to know that they matter, in some way. Anyway, to you. You starve them out.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
You starve them of what has likely been the grade-A narcissistic supply, your vital life force energy, they’ve been feeding off of and exploiting you for, to this point. When you’re able to do this and sustain this posture, it’s game over. Maybe not immediately, but the longer and more consistently you hold the line, the sooner they will be forced to go elsewhere to get their sick needs met and leave you in peace. Which is what you want, right? You don’t need the last word, you don’t need to be right, you’re not going to get through to them no matter what you say, and they aren’t going to change. If you’re really smart, all you really want is peace and freedom.
And let me tell you, silence is the fastest way to get there, cutting off their oxygen, so to speak. That, and finding a way to do your own healing and recovery work so you stop repeating this pattern. That is what gets the job done, and changes the game for good.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Here’s the thing, few things are more powerful than treating a narcissist as if they are literally dead to you, literally. They do not matter. They don’t even exist. You don’t see them. They’re not on your radar. You’re busy, living your life, taking care of yourself. And you have no time, zero time, for this BS. Literally starving them of the narcissistic supply, forces them to have to go elsewhere to get their fix. And again, the good news about this is, they leave you in peace. Maybe not immediately, but certainly once they realize there is no longer anything to be had from you.
But I promise you this, treating a narcissist to a healthy dose of I don’t even see you, you matter not want iota to me, communicating that they are completely and utterly insignificant to you, is absolutely the fastest way to be rid of them.
And understand that silence is the most powerful weapon you can use to communicate what it is that you need to communicate to a destructive narcissist, to move them into another realm and out of your experience so that you can get yourself back on track to living the life you actually came to the planet to live. Which, I promise you, has nothing to do with having a destructive narcissist latched onto your being, or your life for that matter, manufacturing all manner of negative emotion, pain, drama, et cetera, and siphoning your vital life source energy from your very soul while they’re at it. That’s not why you came here.
Being smeared and how to handle it.
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