5 Signs You’re Not Healing after Narcissistic Abuse

Number 1: Trauma bonding & Cognitive dissonance.

This is by far the biggest one. Trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance are atypical signs or symptoms of trauma, not commonly seen in other trauma disorders. Trauma bonding is simply the addiction to the narcissist, where part of you knows who they are, yet another part is confused by the good memories and may want to go back, lacking full clarity to see the narcissist for who they truly are. Resolving trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance requires giving time for your brain to rewire itself, which can take at least eight months to create new neural pathways.

Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

However, it’s essential to understand that if you’re constantly in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, and if you continuously ruminate on the past or if the narcissist is still in your life, the possibility of these symptoms persisting is quite high. In such cases, additional work on regulating your nervous system may be necessary. Learning to stay calm in a parasympathetically dominant state can increase your capacity to handle urges and create the space needed to resolve cognitive dissonance, allowing you to see the narcissist for who they truly are. While there may be nuances and variations in different cases, the general idea is that within a year or so, your cognitive resonance and trauma bonding should have significantly reduced.

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