3. They are terrible listeners.
So for example, this person will be someone who claims to be a caring, considerate, and concerned person. But when push comes to shove, their behavior will not exhibit the way they portray themselves. And being completely uninterested in anything you have to say is one of the ways you will start to notice this discrepancy between who they say they are and who you witness they are.
They are terrible listeners because the reality is, they aren’t interested in or concerned about anything you have to say if it isn’t about them, and they will find it hard to conceal this fact. So if you are wondering if someone in your life might be a covert narcissist, pay attention to what kind of listener they are. If they act bored, or uninterested, or if they are dismissive of your thoughts or opinions, you very well might be dealing with a covert narcissist.
4. Their words and actions do not align.
This is probably the biggest indication of all types of narcissists. I used to say to my ex all the time, say what you mean and mean what you say because his words and actions never aligned. Narcissists, in general, will consistently do this.
So for example, covert narcissists will tell you what good people they are, and how concerned and considerate they are. But when you call them and actually need their help with something, they are famous for telling you, yes, of course, they will be there, and of course, they will help, and then canceling at the last minute, or making up some lame excuse or just not showing up at all for you.
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