1. The dehumanizing game
Now the first game I want to mention to you, and the reason I’m putting this first is that it’s one of those that has an overlay on all of the other things that I’m going to mention to you. The first thing that a narcissus will do is they will dehumanize you.
In healthy relationships, we want to try to remember that person in front of you is someone who is a real individual with real perceptions, needs, and legitimacy, they deserve respect and honor. But the narcissist, if they start thinking in that direction, it’s like, now I lose my power if I hold that other individual in high regard, or if I see them as being my equal, and so what they’ll do is they make sure that you know that you’re not that kind of person.
They don’t see your feelings as legitimate, they don’t see your perceptions as worthy, and so they’ll go into this dehumanizing process with all sorts of insults, name-calling, character assassination, undermining, and that’s a very important thing for them to do because it keeps you off balance. And you’re over there trying to scramble proving yourself to them, and it’s like, yeah, I like it when you try to prove yourself to me that, and that means that you’re beholding to me. That’s part of their game, they dehumanize you and try to take away your legitimacy as a regular person.
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